A New Hope

Growing up I had a pretty bleak view of my future as a gay man. The world, as I saw it, was one filled with hate, intolerance and death. For those in the LGBT community, these three things seemed to me, to be not only inevitable, but also certain. Despite my large and supportive group of friends and the high marks I received in school, I thought that no one (especially not my family) would ever accept or love me once they knew who I was.

How very wrong I was.

Coming out for me was one of the most loving and incredible experiences of my life and in what seemed like no time at all, I had almost all of my friends and family standing strong by my side. This love gave me an incredible strength and confidence to face the world outside of the one I knew; the one that glitters and dazzles, the ‘gay’ world. Completely out of my comfort zone, I threw myself into every event, club and march possible, desperate to understand and experience a part of myself I had hidden and denied for so long. However, as the novelty of this new world slowly began to fade I found myself longing for more.

Once again my education became my focus and with my renewed passion for the LGBT community I began the second year of my degree in education as an out and proud gay man, determined to make a difference in the lives of LGBT teachers and youth. Unlike my first time coming out, I found the academic community lacking in support and an absence of LGBT peers, who like me strived to make the world a better place. Once again, I felt alone and the hope I once felt for not only my own future, but also others like me slowly began to dissipate.

Now that I have found The Pinnacle Foundation and met my fellow scholars that hope has come back with a force that I haven’t felt since my 80 year old Nanna, held my hand, looked me in my eyes and said (in her very broken English) that she would always love me, no matter who I chose to love. To the foundation I say thank you for your incredibly kind support and unwavering passion for education. To my fellow scholars I say thank you for giving me back my hope for not only my future but for the future of all kids, whether they be LGBT or not. If your passion, commitment and dedication to your careers are any indication for the future of equality in all areas of this country, there is no reason for I or any other LGBT youth to ever feel hopeless again.

By Matt Russo

Turning things around

Hi Ashleigh,

Tony & I have just finished marking the exams. During this process, we also keep track of students whose answers are particularly good. You’re one of these students. Your overall result was strong, but we just wanted you to know that the quality that impressed us most was your sensible approach to the scenarios.

Tony & I are looking forward to being involved in your education next Semester. We want to hear your voice in the Tutorials as well – your knowledge base shows you certainly have some useful information for your peers. Speak up!

Great work. Keep it up.

Regards

Cam, and on behalf of Tony.

- - -

Above is an email from my lecturers at uni, sent last Friday. When I got it I cried.

I will never, ever forget that moment.

Last year Cam and Tony would not have known I existed. They wouldn't have seen me during lectures, because I was at work during most of them. They wouldn't have noticed my marks, because I was barely scraping by. They wouldn't have noticed me in tutorials, because I was always running late from work and leaving early to go back to work, and spent the time in class staying as small and as quiet as possible, while desperately trying to catch up on what I had missed that week.

This email was sent to several other students. They will file it away with all the other encouragement they have ever received from their lecturers, parents and families. For me, it is stuck on my bathroom mirror, because it is the first time since I have started my degree that I have felt hopeful. It is the first time I have real hope that I might actually finish my degree.

Every single day I have struggled to stay with my education. Life has felt like a catch 22 – If you want to study at uni you need the money to buy books and pay rent and food and go to the doctors and just live, so you work a lot but when you work a lot you don't have time to go to uni or study for uni, so your grades begin to fail and it looks like you might not pass your courses, so you cut back your hours and fit some more study in, but then its harder to make rent so you get stressed and the fear of living on the streets forces you back to work everyday and you tell yourself that the basic essentials are shelter food and water and that education can come later, except that education is the way out of poverty, and you learnt that at uni, so you should just try try try to get this degree and don't give up just yet, just get through one more semester and it won't last forever and one day you will graduate.

Thanks to Pinnacle, that 'one day' is looking a lot more possible today, then it was a year ago. Why don't you better your odds? Put yourself in a better position. Make a Choice, to apply for a scholarship. Take a Chance that it might get accepted. Take the steps to Change your situation. Apply for a Pinnacle Scholarship today.

By Ashleigh Scriven

Where I am at now

Looking back at about seven months ago, it is more than clear that receiving a Pinnacle Scholarship has turned my life around. Seven months ago I had absolutely no idea I would end up studying Youth Work and Alcohol & Other Drugs at RMIT University, and have an amazing mentor. At that time I was experiencing accommodation instability and started to not believe in myself. I began thinking about giving up on my hopes and dreams and re-prioritising my goals.

Receiving a Pinnacle Scholarship means more to me than the financial assistance with course fees and materials. Don’t get me wrong, it has saved me from great financial stress and provided me with relief; however it is the fact that someone saw something in me and believed in me that made me feel that there is hope. So I decided then I was not going to give up that easy.

Now I’m doing well in my courses and have an awesome placement working with a very diverse and creative group of same-sex attracted young people. I love this placement so much it does not feel like work at all. My partner sometimes gets a bit annoyed that I do not spend a lot of time at home due to classes and placement commitments, but she knows that in the end it would be all worth it and she sees that I am happy.

My mentor Lauren is an incredible lady. I honestly could not have asked for a better mentor. She simply ROCKS! Lauren has done so much for me in the past few months. Not only does she assist me with my assignments and finding placement opportunities, she also took me to my first professional development conference about mental health and social media. This challenged me a little because I have never been around so many professionals before. I’m glad she did take me because shortly after that my placement supervisor out of the blue asked me to attend the Hume City Council’s launch of their Youth Counselling Service on his behalf. I was more confident with meeting other professionals and networking with them.

Lauren has also helped me solve my first ethical dilemmas as a Youth Worker such as: boundaries and being torn between being a friend and a worker. I’m extremely lucky to have Lauren as my mentor. She is kind, hilarious and great to talk. I hope to stay in touch with her after the mentorship. I could go on for ages about the awesomeness of Lauren but I guess you get the idea that she is my idol, so I will stop here.

Being a Pinnacle Scholar is a great honour and privilege. It changed the way I perceived my life. When I officially start working in the community services sector I would not hesitate in recommending the Pinnacle Foundation to my future clients to help them achieve their full potential and get them where they would like to go in life.

By Laura Partington

Photos in My Window

My name is Ashleigh and this is a photo of my bedroom window.

One day I will become a radiographer, and then maybe another day I will become qualified in MRI or CT imaging. My partner is not the biggest fan of using the windows to display pictures of bones of people she doesn’t know, but for the most part she puts up with them because they remind me that the light at the end of the tunnel is a degree, a job and being able to do something I love every day. 

I took these radiographs during my very first clinical placement in 2010.  My favourite is the smaller one on the left window, an AP PEG open-mouth image. At the time, these images were a source of pride, a reminder that I could do just as well as anyone else who was doing the same course as me. A reminder that I had achieved just as much, if not more then those students who had a comfy bed to sleep in, financial and emotional support and enough food during these five weeks of unpaid placement. I slept on the floor of a friends place for the 5 weeks and ate rice for every meal, but I did well enough in my placement for me to feel proud of myself.

At the end of 2011, Pinnacle came into my life when I was working 6 days a week, although often for 14 days or more in a row. It took me a year to recover financially from the placement, and Pinnacle entered my life at a time when I was about to give up on my education, and focus on just being able to afford the rent and food in the same week.

I was teetering on the edge of living my greatest fear -  that I will just ‘get by’ in life. That I will end up ‘just’ waitressing everyday for the rest of my life, ‘just’ making rent, ‘just’ making it. That I will plod through life, doing something that disintegrates my enthusiasm, kills my brain cells, and refuses to allow me the opportunity to hope and dream of bigger and better things.

Pinnacle has seemingly scooped me up from the floor, dusted me off, handed me some hope and given me a gentle shove back in the right direction. They have patched up some holes where my self-esteem obviously fell out, and are doing their damnedest to make sure that my potential stays firmly in my pocket, and doesn’t self-destruct in a moment of panic. Pinnacle has given me gifts that most students take for granted; encouragement, support, confidence, hope, financial stability and the ability to believe in myself.

By Ashleigh Scriven