Tuesday 30 April 2013

Stalker

The night was brisk, and having finished work at 11.30, I was tired and grumpy. I hurried to my car, and began the short drive home.

As I drove along Port Road, a white Mitsubishi began merging from the far right lane into my own. The car veered too soon, and what would have been a textbook merge soon became a near sideswipe. I clamped my hand upon the steering wheel, horn blaring, until the Mitsubishi retreated to its own lane.

I drove on, but some time later noticed that the car was behind me, tailgating with high beams on. I was not going to further provoke such stupid road rage, but the car continued behind me, following, turn after turn.

I drove down a maze of back streets, further away from my house, but it was stupid to think I could shake this car off. I approached Queen Street, well lit and lined with coffee shops and boutiques – all closed at this hour, of course. I planted my foot to the brake, and wrenched up the handbrake.

Keys still in the ignition, I pushed my door open, jumped out and walked towards the Mitsubishi. Only when I was several metres away did I realise that my pursuers were four girls, probably younger than me.

The driver did not wind down her window, so instead I raised my voice demandingly.

“Do you have a problem? I’ve got your rego and I won’t hesitate to call the police.”

“You can’t park here, you know.”

It was true; I had stopped in the very middle of the road. The whining response was hardly an explanation though, so I announced again that I would call the police.

Besides advising me to report the incident, the police were useless. The car had sped away and thus no further action could be taken. I was shaken and reluctant to go home, and it wasn’t until later that I rationally concluded that the four stalkers had likely been intoxicated, and were youngsters just out to cause trouble.

The next day, I reported the incident to the police. The officer who recorded my details was dismissive and uninterested. He took my details not on a computer nor an official document, but a small, torn scrap of paper.

“If action was taken for every conflict on the road, there would be too much work for us. Also, there are always two sides to a story. There’s no point following it up.”

The condescension was unmistakeable, oozing from the officer’s voice and inscribed upon his face.

Surely this testosterone fuelled young man provoked the girls. He and his mates probably inflamed the situation. Maybe he’s submitting a false report to cause the girls a bit of trouble.

Of course, I had forgotten that women constitute the position of a minority group, whereas men are the more dominant majority. I should have remembered that women have an unwavering domestic preoccupation and an innate submissive character, and that men are aggressive and misogynistic.

Hang on. I’m confused. Where did societal development disappear to? No longer does the male hunt and the female gather, and yet judging by the officer’s response, the legitimacy of the incident I reported seemed to be dictated by institutionalised gender stereotypes.

Sex, gender and sexuality should not define someone nor dictate their character. Cultural background, beliefs, perceptions and personal experiences play a much larger role, but one should not be discriminated on such.

Stereotypical qualities are simply developed in response to conditioning and social discrimination; for a man to be male he must be masculine, and to hell with the spectrum in between. In an ideal world, biological differences would not be used as a justification to shackle us into specific roles. If this were the case, I’m sure that true diversity would thrive.

As I was pursued home the other night, I was thinking more of my own safety than of the sex of my pursuers. Had it been four men following me, or perhaps four men following a female, would the officer have perceived the incident as more serious? Maybe I’m being a bit unfair, but the catch phrase “SAPOL: Keeping SA Safe” just doesn’t seem to cut it.

By Ben Nielsen

Read more of Ben's work at http://www.bennielsen.wordpress.com/

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Miss Extra-Curricular

So I have always been one to put my hand up and participate in anything and everything that was thrown at me. If it's exciting, if it's for a good cause, if I'm learning or helping someone out I like to be involved. A quick summary of my extracurricular activities include; public speaking, dirt bike riding from the age of about four, karate when I was about 6 years old, netball from ages 8-10, tap dancing for a couple years after, baseball, debating, drama (TV, Film & Theatre) classes for three or four years, football (soccer) for most of my high school years, musical theatre, music (I play a couple instruments well and try to play many more [I even have a trumpet that I have always wanted to perfect but never stuck with it]), being on the Student Rep Council and probably a few more things.

Being a part of all of these little communities and social groups led me to many great events. From hosting my drama school's annual 'Silver Screen Awards' to shaving my head and helping organise other fundraisers as part of the SRC to performing with my band (that was formed at school) at the grand final of the Mounties 'Battle of the Bands' competition. I have performed at Fairfield City Council's annual youth festival 'Bring it On!' as well as volunteered there helping out the NSW Family Planning stall which was taking photo's for the This is Oz campaign (http://www.thisisoz.com.au/). By performing a pantomime titled 'Jungle Jack and Jill' I was able to entertain audiences at the Cancer Council's Relay for Life, McHappy Day and the Teddy Bear's Picnic. I do these things because they are fun, rewarding, a great way to socialise and build experience and valuable communication and performance skills. 



The extracurricular activity that has brought me the most joy is being a big part of the CAPA faculty at high school. I still miss my drama class to this day. The students and my amazing teacher Pat. I miss the music rooms, the fancy instruments I got to use and just collaborating with so many talented and creative minds. Drama took me to participate in the annual Manly festival. My class was lucky enough to make massive lanterns shaped as saxophones and double basses. We got to march with them down to the beach in the parade. For my major group project I became very close with the two other girls I was working with. We performed in assembly in front of hundreds of students. None of the drama students wanted to perform in the senior assembly and they chose to perform to the year 7's and 8's & 9's. On the day, the M.C. announced that it was time for our performance and the moment came for us to walk into a packed school stadium. As we took our positions we were all hoping not to embarrass ourselves. After the first couple of lines the audience reacted better than we could have hoped for. The moment of joy and relief when they understood our performance and laughed and clapped was a moment I will never forget. I love performing. The rush. The adrenaline. The way I can evoke so many emotions from the people watching. 
Being actively involved in music at school brought me so much happiness. The teacher that made my high school experience so much more enriched is Teresa. She believes in so many young musicians and encourages everyone to perform, no matter what their skill level is. As a result of having this lovely woman around, I participated in numerous little gigs at school, numerous assemblies and in the annual music night at our local club. I was placed in a myriad of ensembles and worked my way up to the 'elite ensemble'. From this group we formed 'G62' (named after the classroom we spent the majority of our time practicing in during our spare time and even during school holidays). Being in G62 brought so many opportunities. From band competitions to recording our original songs in a studio and being interviewed on Hope 103.2. I also got to sing the song I wrote at the grand final of the Battle of the Bands. I assisted the woodwind ensemble, the vocal ensemble and other groups in their performances because I was the go-to drummer and I loved it! 


I take advantage of everything that is offered to me. Before university started, I participated in activities for 'future students' like 'Macquarie in a Day' and open day. During the first week of uni holidays I attended a careers workshop that focussed on resume writing. I take as much information in as I can when it is offered to me... as long as it doesn't involve reading journal articles because they are boring 99.9% of the time. I'm supposed to be doing my first assignment that is due first day back at the moment but I am writing this because I love the Pinnacle Foundation and I love the blogs! 
In summary my drama teacher left our class with some advice on our last day. She told us to participate in life. To be proactive and be involved in as many things as we can. To take life easy and to do what makes us happy. Everyone started crying. She was so right. Thank you Pat D.W. 


By DIBS

Wednesday 17 April 2013

The power of a diagnosis

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have mobility issues, and regularly use a combination of crutches, a cane, or a wheelchair to get around. This is because if I was on my feet for more than a few minutes, my hips, knees, feet and lower back would start complaining, and then start screaming at me. In other words, it is painful for me to stand for more than a few minutes at a time. And the worst part of it was? I didn’t know why. Every GP and orthopaedic specialist I had seen could not explain why. I even once had this doctor insinuate I was faking it, just so I could use a wheelchair. 


This week, after months on a waiting list, I saw a rheumatologist. Nice lady too. And within 15 minutes she gave me a diagnosis. Benign Joint Hypermobility, also known as Hypermobility Syndrome.

It is a connective tissue disorder. A lot of the joints in my lower body over-extend themselves (similar to when you are double jointed). I never thought anything of it. I thought everyone’s knees locked backwards, the way mine had since I was a child. Anyway, what happens is that my muscles in my joints are forever working extra hard to keep the joints in place, that they are becoming worn and tired. It is a genetic condition, and I have since found out that my younger sister, who lived in Melbourne, was diagnosed with the same condition six months ago. We hadn’t realised that it was the same thing, as for her it manifests in joints that are easily dislocated and ligaments that tear easily. For me, I just had very sore joints that I couldn’t stand on.

I have been given some medication specifically for chronic pain (which doesn’t have any narcotics or opioids, which I always hated), and been referred to a physio which specialised in a pain management, and they are going to revaluate me in six months.

But the truth is, I couldn’t care less what my diagnosis is, or whether it is treatable or not. All I cared about was that I had a diagnosis. I had a reason, an explanation, for what was going on with my body. One of my biggest issues in getting help and accessing disability services has been my lack of documentation to justify my needs. So many disability services require a definitive diagnosis before anything can be done. I still don’t have access to everything (Centrelink disability payments have a criteria that you have to be permanently disabled for the next two years…Now I am getting treatment, who know what state I will be in six months), but it means I can access some things.

So what happens now? I go to the physio, I take my medication, and enjoy my new wheelchair (a second hand chair which I paid for out of pocket, as I have neither the funding nor the money for a new one). That and continue my campaign for my apartment complex to install a ramp at the front gate, so I don’t always need to enter from the back alleyway.

By Suzie Day
Originally published on CatalogueThis.com

Sunday 14 April 2013

A Fairy Godmother named Pinnacle

It is not often that I get to write creatively these days and I have found it to be something I genuinely miss. It has however given me a love and passion for words, especially those whimsical and wonderful, which I have never had before and with the inspiration and confidence I have been feeling I have the urge to make this as interesting as possible despite my usual eventless existence.

We can start with the Laptop. I placed my order about 2 weeks ago. An order made to procure a wondrous device. I had dreams about its technological majesty and simplistic grace, qualities which would enhance my studies and so greatly contrast my dismal jack-in-the-box with its whirring that seemed to build daily until, *POP*, the screen shone a disheartening blue every week or so. This magic little box was sure to come delicately delivered to my door, so instantly relaxing the strains and pressure of an intense university lifestyle.

Now I must admit it has been a while since I made the order and things have gone astray... Mix-up orders with Apple... successful delivery, to the wrong address... frustrations and tribulations which have led to me finally picking up my Parcel from the Depot tomorrow. I still feel as excited by the enterprise and ecstatic at the electric eagerness I feel coursing through my entire being. I am sure Cinderella wasn’t the first house the prince visited with those ridiculously specific slippers. Just as I am sure that life-changing moments are definitely worth the wait. This Laptop will change my life.



By Nicholas Tarpey

Friday 12 April 2013

Music is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle

I’ve played trumpet for as long as I can remember. Barely old enough for primary school, I wandered up to my Dad’s bedroom and just started playing ‘Oh When the Saints’. Or so the story goes. 

I received formal tuition throughout primary school, and I went to a secondary school specialising in music education. Music has been kind to me - travel, television appearances and ANZAC Day services are just some of the exciting opportunities it has provided.

However, there’s a false romantic haze surrounding musicians, perhaps assisted by Hollywood and shows like the X Factor. Don’t be fooled by the get-famous-quick culture, it promotes the belief that a musician must possess no more than luck and the ability to look good on stage.

The truth is, I do not lead the life of a rock-star and music is actually a really hard slog.

At uni there are lectures, rehearsals and workshops. In addition to this, there’s at least six hours personal practice. Then there are external rehearsals and performances. It may not be accountancy or medicine, but it’s definitely not a hobby. I am married to my art - it is a lifestyle and a career pathway.
I’ve come to accept that there is no luck involved. To become a professional, one must put in a lifetime’s worth of work. I go through phases of love and hate; bemoaning my abilities, lack of social life, job prospects and the state of the arts. I sometimes worry that my efforts don’t make a positive and tangible contribution to society, but promptly remind myself that there is always a place for the arts and its technicians. Without them, the community would have a bland landscape. 


Thanks to the generous investment of the Pinnacle Foundation and those who assisted my application, I have finally purchased a new trumpet. Previously unattainable because of a lack of funds, I spent nearly four years borrowing inadequate equipment. Thankfully, I will no longer have to experience embarrassing auditions or stunted musical growth.

For me, the purchase of my new Yamaha Chicago C was as significant as buying a house. Besides the obviously enormous expense, they both carry similar notions of a new beginning. This professional standard trumpet is perfect for orchestral work and will encourage my musical development, signaling a transition from student to professional musician.

I begin my final year of undergraduate studies with feelings of excitement and ambition. It’s not just going to be fun and games, but when I feel doubtful, I remind myself of the importance of music. It has the ability to heal and to increase intelligence, evoke love or rage. I sometimes reminisce about my very first musical encounter:

A group of musicians came to perform to my kindergarten class, after which there was a question and answer session. I raised my hand to comment. With my other hand to my chest, I said ‘when you played, I felt it inside me’.

By Ben Nielsen

Wednesday 10 April 2013

Lending a Hand

Like most teachers I find incredible satisfaction in helping children. There is no greater feeling than helping a student overcome an obstacle or realise their full potential as an individual. Assisting a child to overcome sadness or an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness however is incomparable to anything I have experienced in my relatively short career as an educator.

Recently, I learned through a family contact of a young student called ‘Justin’ (not beiber I assure you, I just couldn't think of another suitable alias) that was suffering from a considerable amount of stress and sadness over his recent acceptance of his homosexuality. ‘Justin’ felt totally alone and uncertain over what course of action to take in telling his family about the young man he has always been.

Due to both my own personal experiences and my passion for helping kids I knew it was my duty to provide any and all forms of available support to ‘Justin’; not to mention a pivotal opportunity to hand down my wisdom and unique insight as a young gay man. What I didn't know was just how powerfully ‘Justin’s’ pain and sadness would affect me.

Listening to his story, I couldn't help but relate to the frightened and timid young man who sat quietly opposite me. His sad and innocent eyes were focused so intently on mine, as if he was trying to drag the answers to his seemingly insurmountable problems from the depths of my mind.
With all the courage and wisdom I could muster, I looked ‘Justin’ straight in the eyes and told him all about my own experience about coming out; assuring him that like my own supportive and loving family, his too would accept and love him no matter who he loved. 

Our conversation ended up lasting well over an hour but once it finished the timid and frightened young man I had first met was replaced with a bright and bubbly teenager with an infectious optimism about his future and family. What’s remarkable about this transformation isn't simply my involvement or even ‘Justin’s’ incredible strength. It’s the fact that out of all the adults in his life, it was a 4th year student Teacher who barely knew him, that was able to remind ‘Justin’ what he already knew; that he was a perfectly unique and loveable young man, who not only deserved a bright and happy future but would one day soon, have one. 




It’s facts and encounters like these that remind me exactly why I have committed my life to helping both the LGBT and non-LGBT youth of this country; to provide hope to those that have forgotten who they truly are.


By Matt Russo

Monday 8 April 2013

Daniela the what?

I think I'll use this post to introduce myself properly. My name is Daniela Ivana Barisic Sprem. You can call me DIBS. I have recently turned 18, currently study full time at Macquarie University and work two jobs. I have a big Croatian family and a dog named Medo (teddy bear). I have a passion for music and play a few instruments; my favourite being the drums. I love animals from rats to lizards to lions and cats. I have a very hard time listing my interests and hobbies because there are so many.

I also ride dirt bikes and want to get my road bike license when I get enough money. I love the film/TV/entertainment industry and did drama in high school and outside of school. I love playing soccer and riding my push bike for hours on end.
The giant list of interests up there is why I am having a hard time at uni and thinking of where I am going in life. It was hard enough finding a uni course to settle on, and even though I am doing a double degree, I still want to try more courses. So I have made it through 5 weeks of university and I am not liking it as much as people said I would. I don't know if I am just doing the wrong course or if further education isn't my thing. I dropped a math unit already because I don't like the idea of paying for something I don't want to do. I am also terrible at it. 

I love working because i get paid for work AND I learn new skills at the same time.
As we all do, I have my dream jobs and my realistic dream jobs. I thought I wanted to be a HR manager but now I think I want to work with animals. Whether it be training guide/assistance dogs or working at the RSPCA or Animal Welfare League. 
If I could have the job I wanted most, no matter how crazy, 

I would be a talk show host.
I would love to be the Australian Ellen or the new Rove McManus. That could be me interviewing PINK! 



I love talking, making people feel better and sharing knowledge. 
Other occupational phases I've gone through are DJ, motivational speaker, comedian, club owner, police officer, camp counsellor, music therapist, teacher, uni lecturer, psychologist, musician and the list goes on. 
They say my generation is likely to go through 21 different jobs and 7 career path changes before settling on one. I am aware that many people have the same problem as me and some people like constantly changing things up... I guess I am just in a hurry to find what I am good at and to start making money. 

For now I am Daniela the student. Daniela the Pinnacle Scholar. Daniela the sister, daughter, cousin, friend and loved one - which makes me one lucky kid.


By Daniela Ivana Barisic Sprem

Thursday 4 April 2013

Self-doubt: The Enemy Within

I have news to share with you. A while back I applied for a judge’s associate position at the Sydney registry of the Federal Court. I was shortlisted to be interviewed and turned up the morning of my interview scared and nervous. A very senior judge sat behind his large oak desk and I sat in the little sofa chair a metre away, my fingers interlocking each other and gripping all the blood out of my hands. It was enough consolation after the interview just to know I did the best I could and I would never have to go through that again. I will know on Friday apparently. 


Friday morning came and went. I was resigned and ready to take a nap. 
My phone rang. 
“Nathan... 
“I thought best to call you now and let you know… 

“After careful deliberation…
“I just want you to know that… 
“If you want the job, it’s yours” 
What. 
I could not contain my joy. 
“Thank you, thank you your Honour!” 
Oh man. What a good feeling. 
I am gay and I am Asian. He had sense and he chose me. 
Wait. 

Was I supposed to be proud of that fact? There’s no doubt I should be proud. I should be proud of my achievements. I should be proud that he saw talent in me. I should be proud of my enthusiasm. But should I be proud of having overcome some deficiency or defect inside me?
That I thought these characteristics were some defect reveals something about our society. There is a stigma attached to difference. You begin to recognise the power structures in society and you begin to accept, subconsciously, that some part of you exists to your detriment. 
No matter how good you are you are still different. Different and lesser. 
It is hard to hear these thoughts being spoken of so plainly. If I read someone else’s self doubt my stomach would wrench in empathy. 

But this is a good story. We should not turn this story about success into a reason to grieve. Quite the opposite. This story vindicates all the progress society has made. As our straight allies cast away their prejudices we cast away our own self doubt. Thereby we can march together step by step into a society that accepts diversity and difference as virtues. Today I have reason to celebrate. Tomorrow I hope another young queer person has reason to celebrate too.


By Nathan Li