I really did not know what to expect from the first Pinnacle Induction Day, but I certainly did not expect to meet and hang out with so many lovely and inspiring people. The night before at the hostel was kind of strange to me, the girls in my dorm and I stayed up late talking and sharing jokes. It was the first time ever I felt like I was one of the ‘girls.’ To feel accepted by a group of people who you have never met before was amazing. Other than the social aspect we had some great guest speakers and workshops.
Peter Baldwin’s session during the induction on dealing with stress, anxiety and shame really struck a few chords and provided me with some insight on myself.
Sometimes the “I’m not good enough stories” my brain tells me causes me to not try my absolute best or even completely avoid something. I fear if I do really try and do not succeed it may reinforce the “I’m not good enough” story my brain continuously tells me. Therefore I buy into them.
I loathe public speaking because my brain tells me “I’m not smart enough.” I have to force myself at times when I cannot avoid it and hope that I do not stutter or waffle on and say something silly or embarrassing.
I remember the night before my driving test I was so nervous I did not sleep at all. I felt almost certain I was going to fail. However I passed and got my license, then I thought why did I wind myself up over nothing? Why the hell do I do this to myself?
It is so annoying that my brain thinks it is being helpful by telling me these stories when it is actually doing the complete opposite. I guess I am my own worst critic and hindrance to achieving what I would like to achieve.
One of my goals for this year is to work on accepting these stories as just stories regardless of whether they ring any truth or not and perhaps work on my confidence. Now that I am aware of this I am sure I will make some progress.
I would like to thank the Pinnacle crew, mentors, scholars, and everyone else who rocked up for an awesome weekend and making it happen; I wish it did not have to end.
By Laura Partington
I stepped onto the plane hoping for nothing more than this ride to be over. I felt the familiar sense of unease as I located my seat, but found it was intensified by knowing I would not have a familiar face sitting next to me as I contemplated all the possible scenarios that could lead to my death. I saw the engine burst into flames, the wings snap off as unexpected turbulence took hold, and my body flung from my seat through the gaping hole in the side of my flying tomb. I have never flown solo before, and clearly I am not the calmest flyer at the best of times. I decided to go over my speech and try to take my mind off the situation I had put myself in.
As the longest one and a half hours of my life eventually passed, I began to realise the realness of my situation. I was entering a city I had never been before to speak to a room full of people I had mostly never met about my experiences as a recipient of a Pinnacle scholarship. I was excited, anxious, nervous, but above all, utterly thrilled. I was in Brisbane, a place I had never been and whose appeal had called to me for as long as I can remember. I was greeted with warmth as I entered its streets in search of my destination and once arrived, the warmth continued as I was met by the familiar faces of Pinnacle. Any sense of apprehension faded immediately and I began pumping myself up for the event that was about to unfold.
As I entered the room full of unfamiliar faces I took my place ready to deliver my speech. I stood next to my fellow scholar Harriet (who’s calm and collected exterior was both refreshing and intimidating) and waited for my name to be called. As Harriet finished her brilliantly moving presentation I was called to the floor and without hesitation began a verbal assault on my graciously receptive audience. My notes became irrelevant as I recounted the history of my affiliation with Pinnacle and the impact their generosity has had on my university experience. I explained the unparalleled impact my mentor has had on my introduction to University and by the end I felt as though I had had a therapeutic experience as I relived the state of bliss which had accompanied my first semester of learning.
The reception was incredible. I was met with words of encouragement from complete strangers whose enquiring nature made me feel supported and respected. I left the event feeling even more confident in my abilities as a student and, as I explored the streets of Brisbane, knew that without the generosity of The Pinnacle Foundation I would not be the worry-free student I am right now. Pinnacles’ empathy has healed me of my self-deprecating nature and I am truly grateful.
By Steve Walker
